My relation with music has always somewhat ambiguous. I realize I’m not a good musician and when I create something they are often projects that span many weeks. Way too long to be any good. I also never got any satisfaction from creation/producing music this way. So in the end, after having bought a series of synths and  working them, I stopped making music. This page is mainly 1- a dedication to the hard work I spent on creating it 2- there so that people who joined in the creation have access to their work as well.

1. Nje

2. Treason

A ‘dungeon-techno’-song created in 1998 together with Filou & Satan. There are three mixes of this song.

The first is the original version, made in 1998. The second one, created in 2011,  is a revision made after uploading the samples to audiotool. Sadly, the original voices were never recorded, so a 10th order butterworth bandpass was used to extract them from the original.  In the third revision I threw out all voices and kept the rhythmical section: from treason to bliss in 81 measures. The last is not particularly good but for some reason the audiotool installation fucked up the sound to such extent that particular parts of the sound received more prominence. The inbalance in the result is mainly due to that.

As I walk away from the festivities I realize, I hate these lost emotions
The pain real enough to let itself come to life it is revealed for the horror it is
Leaves me Thrashing in its horrifying wake it hurts my eyes to see my soul still burning
I seek, my own lair For I have forsaken me I had to face Remorseless retribution

I gaze Clad in black And their invisibility has closed my eyes beyond the point of blindness
and still groping for reality to seep back in this hellhole filled with unbelievers
it hurts ignorance sensing yet not seeing I cannot tell What in me feeds this yearning
Of blood The scent it is Entering my nostrils Can’t look back upon deserted battleground

Opening The acid-filled And ancient cavity It’s known only To those who ruefully weep
To gasp A little more Of that infested air I have to rise Detested, blighted surface
Scavenge This rotten world Where mimicry is holy I am prepared The bounties are just waiting
Mending The broken thoughts Marauding the countryside The heroes stand To judge what they can not slay

Strofe fucking 4 Waar is dat fucking refr ?
Frenzied And wildly Not knowing where the cliff ends I’ll flail around
To flatten these last morcels
Inhabited by the vultures Of this criminal society

3. Drift

4. Ganjue

Some other music made with an anonymous jammer. Took quite a while to create and the sound recording itself is not the best one can hope for. In any case, nostalgy is always interesting.

5. Brups

This was my attempt to create a piece of Goa trance. It was again created in 6 hours. But man… How I hate the fast tempo of that type of music. I cannot understand how psytrance artists get all the notes in the right order when they are blasted out that fast. The voice in the beginning are taken from a self-help disc created by John Lilly. Around 23″ there is some distortion due to a Q-value that was too low. Also by around 4 minutes I had no idea how to continue the song so I just stopped  it. Not very good for a wanna-be psytrancer 🙂

I feel, that I am merely an agent
Giving you some keys
Which have been given to me
To pass on to you

These keys are to unlock doors
Out of your present prisson
Doors opening on new alleys
Doors beyond, where you are now

In general, the thing of the workshop is
that each one of us is far greater,
far more advanced,
far more consciously aware,
far more intelligent,
than each one of us can see of ourselves as being

Written by: John Lilly 1994

6. Broken

Then there was my attempt at making dance music. I got the pizzicato right. The tempo. Maybe not the bassline. And the idea that a climax goes up is something I should also work on. Also the midi bus was somewhat overloaded with all those notes hitting 4 octaves at the same time. Nevertheless. With a ‘this is the best I can do’ dance track in hand I went to my beloved co-artists. The first bunch …

6a. The War Efforts Mix

1] Take away the grain. The king has gone to war. Starving all his minions. His Army is his whore.
Peasants lose their children. As there is no food left. Picking up their weapons. To right this awful theft

2] Heroes of the future. Cowards of the past. Rallying their forces. Pushing to get there fast.
Showing off their courage. Showing all their guts. They will show the soldiers. Those bastards, they will rot

3] Moving towards the fire. The men will stand their ground. Unless the harsh repression. is coming back to haunt.
Acceptance of oppression. Is crushing the revolt. For They cannot continue. Until they find their fault

4] If they want to fight it. first they’ll need redemption. man would love to hate it. shaking off corruption.
soulless collaboration. will keep them in shackles. powers blinding darkness. can lead them all to hell

5] Entering their nostrils. The scent will reach their brains. Rotten creeping tendrils. Will drive soldiers insane.
Virtues growing tired. They long for penitence. But their strong desires. Make it stand no chance

6] Finally they come round. they will now turn back. evil found a fertile ground. and it’s above their necks.
Women, children cheering. welcome heroes return. but should they not despair now. as they ‘ll be burned in turn

7] They need no outside evil. The men have come to town. Mankind needs no devil. For he can grow his own.
Women will be raped. And children will be torn. The malign hated darkness. Is where we all were born

Written by: S@t@n (1999)

6b. The Necromancer Mix

1] Green Pools of fire. Consume Inheritance
Desacrated Temple Grounds. Preacher stands no chance
His hands are in the air. as he calls for intervention
Losing all his faith. in a suicide tendention

 

2] The Women and their children. are praying for the light
Their husbands took the horses and left the town to fight
Burning village ruins will be avenged tonight
With blood on their swords with honour and with pride

3] In Ancient Times,
this village was built over a swamp by
a nomadic tribe of sorcerers and enchanters
to safeguard the mysteries of the soul
they had uncovered.
Behold, their disciples
did not know of the sinister lich
that tied them to Bael,
and for over a thousand years
they put their faith in a God
that wasn’t theirs.
As so, for their lack of knowledge
they would be punished severely

4] Haunt’d whispers of the spirits. Gaze upon your soul
temptation of the evil. as the hunger takes control
Inhuman laughter. their banners black and red
for the enemy you’re fighting. is already dead

5] Their legions grow larger. with every warrior slain
Victory of the damned. as you face eternal pain
Visions of the future. cloud your memories of the past
No one could foresee. the end that came so fast

6] Suddenly there was brightness. as the wizard stood upright
mumbling sacred phrases. preparing for the fight
He brought us salvation. midst the fury of the storm
then thousands cries of agony. left the evil ripped and torn

Schuppen is troef…

Written by: Ditmar 1999